Monday, December 13, 2004

change is continuous

When I met the RevRef 18 years ago he was just a guy, and I was not even a chuch going person. In fact, I had not even been baptised. My life since meeting him has definetely gone through some changes. I began going to church, got baptised, and confirmed to start with. If someone had asked me back 18 years ago what I thought I would be doing in the future, I can honestly tell you that I would not have said that I would be married to a man about to be ordained to the priesthood in less than 5 days.

In fact people all the time ask me, knowing that I did not marry a priest, if this is a change that I am happy with or one that I expected. That's a hard question. On the one hand I married who I married. I didn't marry his profession. I love the man I married. I love the fact that he is happier with his current profession and that he is following in his calling from the Lord. On the other hand there are a lot of things in my life that would be simplier without having to think about every thing I do prior to doing it. Especially in a town of 700. "Did you hear what the priest's wife said yesterday, she used an expletive" "Was that the priest's wife running in that worn out old baseball cap?" well, you get the idea. Im trying to break 'em in slow and easy and let 'em learn that I am human. I do wear an old baseball cap when I run and I have been known to use an expletive or two (much to the RevRef's chagrin). I am who I am. I don't think you can necessarily define me by my husband's career. You can define me by the love that he sheds on me which is what has help to change me into someone who tries to stop and listen to God, although admitttedly I am not always as good at it as I would like to be.

But with all things considered I think Im doing pretty good. From the time I met RevRef I have changed from a single minded young adult to what I think is a caring, loving indivual who is glad to have God in my life. Im not so sure that I like the idea of "having" to be at church as much as "wanting" to be at church but I guess since I do "like" being there what does it matter. I am trying to figure out "What are you waiting for?, What are you waiting for?, What are you waiting for?"(see RevRefs blog) I figure as long as I keep searching I must be doing something right.

Now if I could just find something red to wear to his priesting this weekend I think my life would be almost perfect. Maybe I should have bought those red cowboy boots. Could you imagine the comments off that one? Though they would look mighty fine with my black skirt and red sweater. Hmmm might have to reconsider this. If for nothing else than for the shock value. Guess I need to work on that attitude thing a bit more huh? Oh well I keep trying. Thankfully RevRef and the Lord keep loving me and I them.


Jane Ellen+ said...

"I am who I am... someone who tries to stop and listen to God, although admitttedly I am not always as good at it as I would like to be.
"I figure as long as I keep searching I must be doing something right."

Amen, and amen. Right there, you've summed up the core of Christian discipleship.

Other than that, I hope you keep wearing that ball cap (I've got one too, for my morning walks), and continue to express yourself clearly (even if an expletive or two slips occasionally in the process); because those things are part and parcel of the sister I love. (^_^)

Oh, and go ahead and get those Pentecost red boots. That sounds like the perfect outfit for an ordination in Big Sky Country.

Reverend Ref + said...

I personally think those red boots would look hot.

Tripp Hudgins said...

I assume that the festal color is red. Correct? It would be liturgically appropriate to wear them.

I can read the reports: "Even her feet were shod in the Holy Spirit."

See how nice that sounds? Then again "These Boots Were Made For Walkin'" is also running through my head.


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