Thursday, March 01, 2007


Nobody likes dealing with conflict, Right? But yet we have to deal with it. Some of us deal with it better than others. We usually have a confidant, a good friend, or maybe even a priest who you can talk with. Some of us turn to our husbands. But what can a person do when their confidant, best friend, and spouse is suddenly their priest and it is no longer prudent for them to turn to them any more. Recently someone at church asked me "is that the way you want it to be?".

Ive been thinking about that question. Its a hard question. One that puts me in conflict, not only with myself but maybe a little bit with just the situation itself. I liked having my husband to talk to about some of the harder things. On the other hand I have a couple of really good girl friends who I have bonded with who have helped to remind me to lean more on God.

Those tough things seem to find a way to get worked out better when I ask His help as apposed to the Rev's help. Lying in bed talking with the Rev is nice but so is sitting drinking a mocha and hashing things out with my friends.

Hmm....Is it the way I want it to be.....lets just say I am comfortable with the way that it is and truly dont mind because I have good friends and God who get me through.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I'm a clergy wife, too, but I'm having difficulty understanding what there could be that one wouldn't / shouldn't discuss with the rector. If I were to have some kind of conflict or problem with a parishioner or staff, he'd be the first person I'd want to talk to because it could affect us both and he might know the person better. If it were an internal spiritual conflict (is that what you meant???), well, yes, I don't go to him, but that's not so much because he's the rector but because we have different ways of thinking and speaking about such matters and, besides, we don't have the kind of distance that makes him effective in dealing with others and.... well, it's like asking him to talk shop at home.

I don't mean to pry into what exactly you feel you can't talk to him about -- I'm just curious because there are many changes in my life since marrying a priest, some I'm still working through, and I'm wondering if I'm missing the gist of what you are saying.