LOVE--its complicated

Here On Earth by Alice Hoffman is an Oprah's Book Club book. Let me start by saying that I usually do not read books from Oprah's list. They are usually just way too depressing. However, this was recommended to me by a good friend who usually has great reading taste so I decided that I would give it a try--as usual, I was not disappointed.

Ms. Hoffman spins an extremely complex tale of love. Love of all kinds; first love, friends, true love, family, young love, and sometimes those kinds of loves that are all consuming and even at times self-destructing.

March Murray, the main character returns with her teenage daughter to her small hometown in Massachusetts, after being gone for 19 years, for the funeral of her family's housekeeper and, basically, the only real mother that March has ever known. In returning to her past, March has to deal with her "first love" and maybe her only love -- Hollis, a boy she has loved since she first laid eyes on him at the age of 11. What Hollis and March experience is a love that is so strong that it consumes you. What March must find out is if she can survive it.

As you get familiar with Hollis and March, you will find yourself rooting for the Hollis that March sees, the Hollis that no one else knows. But at other times you will find yourself siding with March's daughter Gwen and her best friend Susie, in just wanting to kick Hollis' teeth in.

However, if you read this story carefully you can learn a lot about love, not through the story's main characters of March and Hollis, but from the slew of other characters that the author uses to gives us different views of love and what it really means to love and be loved. How would you deal with a lover's betrayal, domestic violence, a lover who doesn't return your love, a cheat? It's easy to say "I would do...." But when actually in the situation, sometimes love really is blind or maybe it just sees it differently. Ms. Hoffman does a great job of showing this through each and every one of her characters.

Sometimes it's hard to watch someone be involved in a self-destructive love. Your advice is neither taken nor wanted. This is also true of someone who is in love but refuses to really see what love is either because through their childhood they have watched love hurt someone close to them or they have been hurt by love themselves. By showing us love from so many angles and voices, Ms. Hoffman lets us see that there is something to be learned from many different encounters in love.

A book that can pull at your heart strings and still offer you the opportunity to step outside of yourself and examine how you view love and walk for a little while in someone else's shoes is well worth the read.

My only complaint is that the ending left you hanging slightly in regards to some of the characters. This is not entirely a bad thing though, as it gave me the opportunity to let my imagination explore where I wanted their love to take them.

While My Sister Sleeps by Barbara Delinsky

The premise: Molly and Robin Snow, sisters who are incredibly close yet incredibly different, are in the prime of life. Robin has always been the hardworking star, an elite marathoner in peak condition even training for the upcoming Olympic trials. She relies on Molly in countless ways, though Molly must also maintain long hours at the family business, a plant and tree nursery. When Robin suffers a massive heart attack, the roles are reversed, and Molly finds herself having to be the one in the spotlight, speaking up on behalf of her sister. Though the doctors don't expect Robin to recover, her mother is not willing to accept such a grim prognosis. As she tries to deny Robin's fate, the discovery of a lifetime of secrets comes tumbling forward.

Ms. Delinsky does a great job with a delicate subject. She develops her characters well and shows the family conflict with the dilemma of having a loved-one on life support as well as dealing with the secrets that emerge from Robin's closet as they try to do what is best for Robin. Myself, as a daughter and sister-in-law I could fully imagine what Molly and her family must have been going through. How do you know what someone so young would want, and how do you deal with the grief. It also gave me a chance to ponder things I had not quite gotten around to thinking about.

I discovered Molly and Robin's grandmother having Alzheimer's and the way the family reacts to her and her "sprites" made me really ponder our elderly and my close relationship with my own grandparents as well. It also gave the book another dimension that without it would really have been lacking.

I don't have a sister but it has been my observation that sisters have one of the most interesting relationships in the family dynamic. They love each other beyond belief, would do anything for one another but in most families there also comes a level of rivalry as well. This fictional family is no different. Through the whole book it is very apparent that Molly is Robin's champion. She does everything for Robin and as Robin lays in the hospital it is Molly who tries to put forth "what Robin would want".

Molly as the younger sister deals with growing up, a lot of guilt and basically learns her way through the entire novel. (For example on page 211)David smiled sadly. "that's the dilemma with family. When it comes to our parents, we're always children. At what point do we grow up? They raise us to function as individuals, but when do they allow us to act independently?" Its hard to get someone to take you seriously when they still view you as a child.

You may have heard the old saying that "life is like an onion; it has many layers", well so does this book. The relationship between mothers and daughters, a grandmother and granddaughter, brother and sister, husband and wife are all very different layers that ultimately make up the whole. How do each learn to deal with letting go and when to do so? Just because someone isn't capable of carrying on a conversation with you does that mean that the love stops? Do you stop sitting by their bed or visiting and talking with them?

Ultimately during the hard times it is then that we need our families and close friends nearby. The ones that will point out what we are doing right or wrong and help to be our guide.

Overall the book raises some good questions about the secrets we keep in our life, our families, how the past affects our futures, how what we say or what we don't say can leave us hurting years down the road. Face it we all have secrets in the closets but isn't it better when the secrets are out in the open and we know what we are dealing with?

The Noticer By Andy Andrews

"Sometimes all a person needs is a little perspective."

Perspective is defined as a specific point of view in understanding or judging things or events, esp. one that shows them in their true relations to one another. For example I have a friend whose kids are always borrowing her work gloves. On the one hand this is good because they are doing work, however the gloves need to be returned so that she can use them. To ensure that her gloves were returned she wrote three letters "MOM" on the fingers of her gloves so that when her kids were wearing the gloves they would look down and remember that they were wearing mom's gloves. One day as she was wearing the gloves her youngest child said "mom, why do your gloves say WOW". Its all in how you look at things. From his view point the gloves said "wow" when from were she stood they said "mom".

In The Noticer, Andy Andrews does a fabulous job of dealing with perspective and a different way of thinking. We are introduced to a character who is a simple old man in which Mr. Andrews shows us more than one way to look at a situation that his other characters are dealing with. The main character Jones, "not Mr. Jones, just Jones" is a wonderful character and has you constantly thinking. The best part about Jones is that you start to think outside of your little circle. He is the character that asks the tough questions. He also seems to know just when the next person that he is dealing with is close to or at rock bottom and will be willing to listen to those questions and see how they apply to their lives.

Some of the draw back to the book is that you get involved in the characters lives and then never get the follow through, it is all left up to your imagination as to what they did with their perspective which is both good and sometimes lonely when you want to know more about those characters lives. All of the characters are well developed and as you read the book you can actually picture them and in some cases pick them out in your own community.

When you finish the book you will be challenged to look at the mother's gloves differently: do they say "mom", the woman who gave birth to a child or do they say "wow" someone loaned me a pair of gloves that I should take care of and return better than I got them.

Blood Orange by Drusilla Campbell

I enjoyed this book immensely. The book starts off with the abduction of Bailey, the special needs child of Dana and David. Dana and David each feel responsible for the abduction and when Dana realizes that she may have "unwittingly had a part in the abduction" things really start to get intense. But the story is about more than a child being abducted. I found this book to be more about learning to deal with what life has given you and how to forgive and how nobody is perfect rather than just a simple abduction.

Each character in the book is faced with forgiveness on some level: The priest deals with forgiveness in many different ways but how does a priest deal when it affects her own family and the ones she cares about the most? David a high priced defense attorney and his associates also deal with forgiveness as they defend a man accused of murdering a child. Dana deals with forgiveness on many levels, with her marriage, her best friend, her child, her past, and ultimately her self.

The characters were well written and really come to life. The priest is a little over-the-top but it works and helps to get the point across that I believe Ms. Campbell was trying to make with forgiveness, past actions, and how to step back and assess the future.

I would definitely recommend taking the time to read this book.

The Great Eight by Scott Hamilton

Scott Hamilton is one of my favorite skaters, he always had a smile on his face, a great attitude, and he always seemed to tell it like it was. When I was a teenager he was someone I looked up to and I never missed the opportunity to watch him skate. So when I saw the book, The Great Eight: How to Be Happy (Even When You Have Every Reason to be Miserable) I was intrigued. I could think of no other athlete that had such a "happy" reputation that would be better at writing a book with this title.

The book is filled with basic truths of "how to be happy". As I read the book, I found myself being more drawn to Scott's life rather than the "great eight". Not because the "great eight" aren't important but rather because they are things that we have all heard before but this time they are being said rather with a different twist. Scott relates all eight of them to his life and how he has dealt with the difficulties that he has faced, his illnesses (both as a child as well as an adult), his skating, and his family.

He begins the book by explaining why eight and not some other number. If you remember right skaters used to be judged on how well they did compulsory figures; the figure eight. He gives several other reasons why he likes this number over others as well but the main one that resonates through the book comes back to the compulsory figures.

There are times in the book that I did end up feeling a little left out, like when some of the skating names of old went over my head, people that according to the author have had long and great careers because of how they have handled their own success and the words of wisdom that they gave that attributed to Scott's happiness.

Overall it was an enjoyable read but if you are looking for a self-help book on happiness or a book that encourages Christianity you might be disappointed. I read the book because of the author and enjoyed what I read and even came a way with a fresh look at some tired old strategies. I enjoyed his open and fresh outlook that was told from the heart.

Tuesday Teaser

I thought that since I was doing the "Spring Reading Thing" I would also try to do the "Teaser Tuesday" that Miz B and Kim have been kind enough to introduce me to.

Here is the way it works: you get a sneak peak into what Im reading by viewing 2 sentences from my current book. The deal is you are to let the book fall open and then pick two sentences somewhere between line 7 and 12 on that page.

This week's teaser comes from the book Blood Orange by Drusilla Campbell, page 144:

As Dana turned to go back into the kitchen, Bender said, "Your husband, when they get the guy, he gonna be his lawyer?"
Dana took a second to untangle Bender's syntax.

The Boy In The Striped Pajamas by John Boyne

Bruno is a 9-year-old boy whose father is the Commandant at "Out-With". Shmuel is a 9-year-old boy who lives on the other side of the fence in his striped pajamas. Bruno, who has recently moved to "Out-With" since his father has gotten promoted, misses his friends from back in Berlin and doesn't understand why there are all those people on the other side of the fence. Bruno, who would like to be an explorer when he grows up decides to go exploring one day and he finds Shmuel sitting by the fence. They begin talking every day, sharing stories and of Bruno bringing snacks for Shmuel. Theirs is an odd friendship formed of one child who somewhat understands what is going on within the fence, the other not even realizing that he has been moved to Poland.

This book takes a unique look at a very frightening time period through the naive eyes of child. Mr. Boyne does a great job of making you re-think how a child looks at his/her environment. The fact that as a child your world revolves around what you are told by your parents and the rules and regulations that your parents set for you. Bruno is very good at letting us know what those rules are that have been set for him which allows us to feel what it is like to once again be 9-years-old and lonely and want to spend the day in our pajamas but know that it is against the rules.

Through Bruno's friendship with Shmuel I felt an array of emotions; humor, horror, anger, and ultimately sadness. Bruno and Shmuel's last days together have a sweet sadness about them. I am glad that I got to share in Bruno and Shmuel's story and hope that I never feel the feeling of being on the wrong side of the fence.

Tuesday Teaser

I thought that since I was doing the "Spring Reading Thing" I would also try to do the "Teaser Tuesday" that Miz B and Kim have been kind enough to introduce me to.

Here is the way it works: you get a sneak peak into what Im reading by viewing 2 sentences from my current book. The deal is you are to let the book fall open and then pick two sentences somewhere between line 7 and 12 on that page.

This week's teaser comes from the book The Boy In The Striped Pajamas by John Boyne page 30:

"What sorta place is this?"
"I'm not sure," said Bruno, sticking as close to the truth as possible. "But it is not as nice as home, I do know that much."

Swim To Me by Betsy Carter

Betsy Carter tells a wonderful tale that starts with the line "She was two years old when her mother dropped her into the shallow end of the lake..." and from that beginning we enjoy a new "ugly duckling" story.

Delores is a 17-year-old girl from the Bronx, who is not the prettiest, nor is she the most popular however she is an excellent swimmer. The water is where she feels most comfortable. As her family falls apart (her dad takes off, her mother takes two jobs to make ends-meet) Delores takes a job at Weeki Wachee Springs in Tampa, Fla. as a mermaid.

Delores bloom in a different environment and we see her grow through the experience. How she reacts to those around her, never loosing her sweetness is a wonderful quality that is given to this character. Thelma, the manager of the Weeki Wachee is always looking out for Delores but we never really get to experience Thelma as much as I would have liked. There was always a hint at an extension to some of the other characters but it was never followed through leaving you only with the story of Delores and her family which is a thread that is stitched through the whole story and never once unravels.

I find that most people could relate to Delores and her family on some level, most of us deep down are a little lost and just want to fit in. Whether it be in our own families or the environment that we are functioning in. I think that Ms. Carter shows us that really we all do fit in and after going through scrapes and bruises we find out who we are and where we fit in best and that it all can work.

I definitely enjoyed escaping to the sights of Florida when we were dealing with snow and cold temperatures here. Made me long to go and sit on the beach with the beautiful water and sunshine.

Tuesday Teaser

I thought that since I was doing the "Spring Reading Thing" I would also try to do the "Teaser Tuesday" that Miz B and Kim have been kind enough to introduce me to.

Here is the way it works: you get a sneak peak into what Im reading by viewing 2 sentences from my current book. The deal is you are to let the book fall open and then pick two sentences somewhere between line 7 and 12 on that page.

Currently I am reading Swim To Me by Betsy Carter, so from page 105:

How about if every night, we use one of your girls in full mermaid regalia to deliver the weather report? I know what you're thinking--believe me, we've covered the bases on this--mermaids can't stand up in their tales, right? No problema.

Sorry I know that was three sentences but two is really hard and "No problema" really finished it out. To find out how it is not a problem you will have to pick up a copy.

Teaser Tuesday

I thought that since I was doing the "Spring Reading Thing" I would also try to do the "Teaser Tuesday" that Miz B and Kim have been kind enough to introduce me to.

Here is the way it works: you get a sneak peak into what Im reading by viewing 2 sentence from my current book. The deal is you are to let the book fall open and then pick two sentences somewhere between line 7 and 12 on that page.

Currently I am reading "Handle With Care" By Jodi Picoult. I love this author and was thrilled to start my spring reading off with this book. So here you go, teaser time:

"What did they do, wait at the courthouse to see what was coming up on the docket? Anyone who read this article--and who wouldn't? It was the local paper--would think I was in this for the cash."
Page 215

I think that was three sentences but I really felt you needed all three.

The review will be coming soon.

Book Review: Handle With Care

Handle With Care by Jodi Picoult

"Being a parent wasn't just about bearing a child. It was about bearing witness to its life".

To what lengths are parents willing to go to provide for their children? Would parents really consider suing an OB who is also their best friend for "wrongful birth"? Is that something caring parents really could do? I believe so.

Having a child with a disability is a hard thing and when you reach rock bottom, be it financial, physical, or emotional when a rope ladder is lowered into your pit of despair how many of us wouldn't grab for that lifeline? Providing a better life is what we all want for our children. Sometimes however we forget to examine all the consequences of taking the first step up the ladder. We need to look around, because there also may be a tunnel out of the pit that will lead us to higher ground.

If you have read any of Ms Picoult's novels you know that her books are normally told from more than one point of view. This book is no different. This story, pulls strongly at a mothers heartstrings from the very beginning when we realize that one point of view is being told by a mother who is giving birth to a child that she knows is being born with not one broken bone but seven and by the time delivery would be complete there would be more breaks and more complications for her new baby daughter, Willow.

We also hear from the father who loves his family, all of them, his wife and both of his daughters. He views his job as protector and provider but doesn't want to allow himself to admit that due to his child's disability he really can't be effective at either. There are times, as I read his view point that I got the feeling he just didn't understand what was trying to be accomplished for Willow.

The older sister, Amelia also gets to give her point of view. She is the sister who feels helpless, unable to fix her sister in any way. She is also the one who really slips under the radar of the family. She goes through unnoticed. Ms. Picoult has done a wonderful job of showing how a sibling of a disabled child feels. They love their sibling but they also want to make things better and cant. They also want the time and attention that is lavished on the sibling. We see everything so clearly through Amelia, almost better than through mom or dad.

Piper is the OB and best friend of the mom, Charlotte. Her point of view has a feeling of loss, betrayal, and fear. I found myself feeling sorriest for Piper. Maybe that is because as an adult we can all relate to the loss and betrayal of a friend. Maybe not quiet in the same way but betrayal is betrayal. Through that betrayal we end up questioning everything we do from getting dressed to the type color of paint we may choose to repaint our kitchen. Piper is no different.

The lawyer, Marin who happens to be searching for her birth mom, is our last point of view. Here is a character that is struggling with the fact that she was unwanted and thus given away at birth and now must deal with the wrongful birth suit where parents are willing to say that they wish that their child had never been born. Unfortunately she is the only character that I felt I really didn't get drawn into. As a lawyer, her character was well done. Like any lawyer you don't always like what they have to tell you and Marin is no different.

It is amazing to me how a family can go in to see a lawyer for one thing and come out with a seed planted for a whole different garden that would change the way they would view their life. A garden that would bloom and encourage them to pick a fight. Each of them in their own way. I found myself having a difficult time putting down this book, always wanting to see what the next chapter/point of view would bring.

The outcome, like most Jodi Picoult books doesn't end the way you would expect it to, it has that Picoult twist that we have all come to love and expect. And once again I was caught of guard and didn't see it coming till the very end.

What Are You Reading And Why?

I have several blogger friends that do book reviews and book give-a-ways, in fact if you haven't been to Callapidderdays then I suggest you go and check it out. She has an awesome book give-away going on right now. I have finally decided "Why not?"

Let me set the record straight, I have not figured out how to do the book give-a-way yet but I am working on that.

So basically I will have to start with the book review. Hang in there with me as this is all new to me. I do love to read, thanks to my mom and I never go anywhere without a book, for that matter neither does The Kid.

I do read basically for my own enjoyment. I like to read books that often challenge what I am thinking but sometimes I like to read something that just takes me somewhere else.

I currently am reading Annie Freeman's Fabulous Traveling Funeral by Kris Radish.

The premise seems simple: Annie Freeman has died and has sent a package to Katie, Annie's oldest and dearest friend. The package contains the following: red high top sneakers filled with Annie's ashes, a list of "pallbearers"(Katie, Marie, Laura, Jill, and Rebecca), and instructions and destinations for a traveling funeral that will take the pallbearers from California to Manhattan, from Florida to Seattle.

This however is not simply 5 girlfriends getting together to bury their good friend.

The pallbearers are Annie's closest and most important girlfriends who do not really know each other but have each had an impact on Annie's life and now Annie wants to share the most important places of her life with these women. (In the instructions Annie lets the women know why each destination is important and why she has sent them there.) At each locale they will spread a little bit of Annie but more importantly they will get a little bit of themselves back with each mile that they travel.

This unlikely group of women will share memories of the spontaneous, free-spirited woman that has brought them together and they will embrace those long-buried secrets that have been the turning points in their own lives. They will learn to rejoice, dance, dream, and live once again like the powerful women that they are and see the wonderful that is in their daily lives.

As women we get so wrapped up in the daily life of work, running a home, and our families that often times we forget that what we do is awesome and that the world around us is fascinating. This book takes the time to show us that everyone of us has those qualities and even the most mundane area around us has something fascinating and wonderful to behold.

Friendship is a wonderful thing. I truly believe that women could not survive without our friends. I have lived in several locations and I know that in each and every location there was a Rachel, Katie, Marie, Laura, Jill, or a Rebecca that got me through more than one life changing event.

It has been said that funerals are for the living. This funeral was definitely for the living but Im not sure that Annie didn't get quite a bit out of the planning of it as well. I like to think that she was with the girls each and every leg of their journey and enjoyed their banter and experiences.

That having been said, who would you invite on your traveling funeral and where would you send them?