Wednesday, February 02, 2005

Size 9 or 10-- how do you know what fits?

You walk by a shop window and you see the most adorable item, be it shoes or a dress or whatever you may be into, and then you go in to try it on. Of course the one in the window is always a size 2. The size you know you can fit into (and never breath again) doesn't look so cute as the one in the window and the size that you know you can wear comfortably definitely doesn't look "cute" or "adorable" it actually looks like it was made for the cow that lives on the ranch next door. (hah-living in ranching country I actually mean that one!)

Life is kinda like that "cute" and "adorable" dress. You go along wearing one size, knowing what that one size is until all of a sudden the game of life changes and you no longer wear that size. You no longer are what you were. But who are you, and how do you find where you are, or who you are now that the old size is too small and the new size is too big? or vice versa?

We spend a lot of our life growing up. Gowing to school. Learning a trade. We then use that trade. Not only to finance our life but to identify who we are. Aren't we more than who we work for or what we do for a living? But what about that famous surgeon who spends so much of his life saving others. Who is he? Is he just a surgeon? What happens when he can no longer perform surgery any longer? Then who is he? And what does he do with his life?

We are so many more things other than just our profession but we tend to spend so many hours out of the day doing the job that when the job is no longer there we have a hard time identifying who we are. In my house I wear several hats: The mom hat, the wife hat, the clergy spouse hat (that one still slips a little bit over my eyes), the cook hat, the piano teacher hat, and the "me" hat. It's the "me" hat that sometimes I loose.

I have to remember that God made me with a destinct purpose. He made me to fill all the other hats but he also has a very special spot for me and sometimes that may just be sitting back and watching things happen and pointing things out to others. We've gone through a lot of changes over the last 3 years and I can't help thinking that God has something in store for me. All things in there own time. It will come if Im patient. (Not one of my virtues by the way.) So for right now Im gonna be content with my array of hats and maybe I can sit back and learn who that "me" hat belongs to so that I can be the person God wants me to be. I need to know who I am so that when He calls I'm ready. I hope to be up to the challenge.

1 comment:

Being Shielded said...

So much of what you've said are the things I've wrestled with for a while. If you're wrestling and I'm wrestling, common sense, if not science, says there are other people wrestling, too. I'm glad I'm not in the ring alone. :-)

Somewhere in there, "me" still survives for all of us, and wants to be let out. The the ultimate question is whether each of us wants to wear the hat or dress when it doesn't exactly match (or even complement), finding identity in a role, or a role that suits an identity.